from space within the real

alinah azadeh

I am the space where I am
-Noel Arnaud

I heard the sound of the sea and the distant hum of traffic outside. I drifted away. I opened up my chest and peered in—the inside of my heart had been cleaned out and plated with hundreds of mirrors, each of a different shape, size, and character. And each mirror reflected a fragment of a view, which looked familiar to me—a road, passers-by, and the sea beyond—but sounded slightly out of sync. I saw people catching glimpses of other people in and outside the space. One of them stepped out from one of the mirrors and stood in the centre of my heart. Peering up at me, she smiled nervously,

I glanced down at my stomach and it opened up. I saw how all my organs had united and become one long red artery, a cushioned corridor carrying life through my body. In the place of blood, I saw the shadows of figures moving, and at the top end—just below my heart—I saw a figure laying down, in a small chamber carpeted on all sides in red roses. The smell of rosewater wafted up and the sound of what seemed like a deep purring filled this space, moving down the central artery to the bottom of my spine. I felt my whole body vibrate with strange comfort and pleasure.

I floated out of my body and opened up the top of my head. Parting my hair, I saw, where my brain had been, a walled garden. Buried in the earth and hanging from one small tree in full bloom were small extracts of poems—many familiar to me. The ground was carpeted, and a few people were laying on it. They seemed to be watching something inside the back of my head. What was it? I bent over a little further and saw another garden within this garden, slowly growing—pink and yellow micro-crystals emerging slowly from green forms. I heard the sound of birds at sunrise—or was it sunset?

Then the light faded, and I woke up. I was in my living room, back in my body—nothing had changed, but everything felt different,